Monster movies, like all horror movies, have inherent tropes and archetypes built into the logic of their plot that either help or hinder their level of terror. Monster movies are bombastic, larger-than-life incarnations of our worst fears. In the ’30s and ’40s, films featured oversized vermin, insects, and zombies. In the ’50s and ’60s, space aliens and vampires. By the ’70s, monster movies also incorporated elements of slasher films and science-fiction, two huge genres that would produce some of the finest of their kind.
Films with monsters like Frankenstein, Dracula, The Mummy, and even Alien and Jurassic Park all feature specific logical fallacies that fans have come to enjoy as part of the fun. Watching hapless victims continue to do stupid things gives credence to the phrase, “Better you than me!” Remember, you don’t need to outrun the monster, you just need to outrun your friends. Here are 10 monster movie logic memes that are too hilarious for words.
BUT FIRST LET ME TAKE A SELFIE
All horror movie fans know that when it comes to teenagers, they’re mostly depicted as the world’s dumbest protagonists who choose to go down dark alleys alone, awaken long-resting forces of darkness on dares, and primp themselves while monsters lurk beneath lagoons.
In the ’50s and ’60s when monster movies had their heyday, teens would frequently engage in fun social outings oblivious to the dangers all around them. This could include moments when other teens were screaming in peril and all they were concerned with is whether or not they still looked fierce.
FRANKENSTEIN’S EGO
There have been many incarnations of Frankenstein’s Monster over the years, and in every one Victor Frankenstein decides to play God and create life by reanimating a corpse. Both in Mary Shelley’s novel and in the film adaptations, Frankenstein’s Monster is described as being excessively tall (around 9 feet), with huge grasping limbs and superior strength.
Frankenstein gets shot several times, stabbed, drowned, and yet still he doggedly pursues his victims. It’s almost as though with all Victor Frankenstein’s medical training and with all his insight into anatomy he completely failed to predict what attempting to make the “perfect being” would end up like.
SCREAM QUEENS
A classic component of every monster movie is a screaming woman. Featured in all the marketing, posters, and trailers, the “Scream Queen” sold the terror of the film’s antagonist. The sheer shock and horror was written all over her exaggerated features and body language, and she promised a thrilling time at the movies.
When it came down to seeing the picture, the scene the woman featured in was always moronic in the sense of the setup. A lumbering creature moves slowly toward her (in the ’30s and ’40s often simply an oversized insect or rodent), and she just stands there screaming, never thinking she could possibly outrun it.
LET’S SPLIT UP
The quintessential trope in monster movies, or in almost any horror movie, is the “let’s split up” division of characters. Rather than stick together, the protagonists will separate, often into pairs (which is at least a little better), but often going completely alone.
Logic dictates that they’ll find what they’re looking for quickly and more easily this way - though they’re almost certain to come in contact with what they’re not looking for. When you hear that phrase in a monster film, expect a gruesome death-by-monster a few moments later.
DON’T FORGET TO DOUBLE CHECK
If the monsters in movies ever stayed dead , there wouldn’t be franchises ten films deep. However, if the protagonists would ever check to see if they really are, they might spare themselves (and other victims) the surprise visit from said monsters at a later date.
When dealing with monsters, the only way to truly be sure they’re deceased is to stab them in the heart and cut off their head. In fact, cut them up into several small pieces and scatter them throughout the corners of the globe, and hope some evil sorceress doesn’t use a claw to raise an army of the undead.
IT’S SO CUTE!
Despite being an intelligently written and genre-defying monster franchise, the Alien films still adhere to tropes that exist for the explicit purpose of driving the storyline forward. In Alien: Covenant it reached absurd proportions, as every protagonist did every stupid thing possible to get themselves or those around them killed.
Take for instance the appearance of the first xenomorph egg in Alien. They just had to go up and see what was moving around inside. Or the hammerpede in Covenant. They just had to play with it like it was a little snake instead of a miniature killing machine.
STOP AND STARE
Aside from being a “Scream Queen” and screaming into the face of a slowly approaching monster, there’s another trope that gets a lot of play in monster movies; starring at it in silence. Whether it’s War of the Worlds or Cloverfield, it’s apparently better to gawk at the large, loud beast rather than get as far away as possible from it.
It’s even better if you rush towards it with a camera to capture it on film. Who knows, you could be filming history in the making. Of course, you’ll have to settle for getting credit posthumously as you’ll be dead as soon as you get within reach of the large monster’s limbs.
IMPRACTICAL ATTIRE
If there’s one thing that’ll put butts in seats, it’s a big terrifying monster and a beautiful woman. Since the days of King Kong, an alluring protagoness has inspired audiences to flock to the theater and see the latest creature-feature. The only thing that’s changed from the ’30s to the modern day is that the women are less damsels in distress and more damsels in destruction.
However, monster movies of today still fall victim to the trope of yesteryear, as in the case of Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic World. Throughout the entire film she manages to look incredibly put together, and even gets to distract the T-Rex with the flare ala Ian Malcom’s bit of heroism in Jurassic Park. Except he was wearing standard boots and got mauled, and she managed to avoid danger running in high heels.
DON’T MESS WITH THE DEAD
Without protagonists defying curses, would there be half the monster movies out there? One of the most famous, The Mummy begins by a multitude of people thumbing their nose at ancient warnings and unearthing the tomb of a priestess who brings plague and death upon their party.
Whether it’s Hellraiser or Evil Dead, people’s curiosity gets the better of them and they always snoop where they aren’t supposed to. They also seem to think they’re impervious to whatever evil may befall them, almost as though they’ve never seen a horror movie in their entire lives.
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHY
When it comes down to a monster’s motivation, the possibilities are endless. Sometimes, their lust for blood is out of cold blooded revenge. Sometimes their need for destruction is because they were created out of pure evil. Sometimes it doesn’t really matter, because the public will go see the movie they’re in anyway.
Take all the Godzilla movies. They all pretty much follow the same format, and they all more or less end with Godzilla submerging beneath the waves to fight another day. The “why” of Godzilla’s destructive habits isn’t as important as the fact that they happen and are epic to behold.
