Kicking off in 2014, Bravo’s Southern Charm (Charleston) is an unstoppable force. From allegations to babies to breakups to old-time Southern hospitality, the rest of the world is quickly figuring out a lot goes around in the small town of Charleston. Everyone seems to know everyone, and if you were born and raised in South Carolina, you probably know the history of your family’s last name.
For the past five years, we’ve learned a lot about this core group of friends (and a lot has changed). Cameron has a baby now, Chelsea is still a badass, Kathryn and Thomas broke up but are still raising their babies together, Craig finally passed the bar, Naomi got the nose job she always wanted, Austen finally realized what he wants to do in life, and Shep is still Shep. After watching all the drama unfold on TV, this well-read cast did, surprisingly, teach us a lot about life. After all, manners are everything down in the South, and while not everyone has good manners on the show, we have learned what not to do in life…
Never Call Someone Else’s Baby Mama An Egg Donor
We can all agree that Ashely Jacobs was the villain during her entirety on the show. After falling in love with Thomas Ravenel, she quickly became protective of their relationship and went after his ex-girlfriend and baby mama hard.
There could be an entire book written about the nasty things that “Trashley” has said about Kathryn, but the worst of the worst is when she called Kathryn an egg donor, implying that’s all she’s worth when it comes to her two babies and ex-boyfriend. Somehow, Kathryn kept her cool and didn’t get physical, but the world was in her corner. Not to mention we all learned not to say such disturbing things to a young mother…
Don’t Bring Drama To A Dinner Party
Dinner parties seem to happen every season on Southern Charm. Typically being held at Patricia’s (Whitney’s mom), she knows how to throw a party. And for whatever reason, these dinner parties never seem to end well. Someone always shows up that’s uninvited or unexpected and the conversation quickly gets out of hand. (Remember when Eliza showed up to Patricia’s this season, unbeknownst to Kathryn? Yeah.)
Can’t a dinner party be thrown without a screaming match going down across the table? When there’s a butler pouring wine in your crystal stemware, I think any argument can wait for another time…
Don’t Show Up To McDonald’s Without Cloth Napkins
What could quite possibly be the most iconic scene on any show ever, Patricia shows us that just because McDonald’s is affordable fast food, doesn’t mean you have to act that way. After her Buttler, Michael, drives her through McDonald’s and orders for her, he pulls out a tray for her cheeseburger as she whips out the cloth napkins!
Having fancy napkins is a rarity in most people’s homes, let alone their car! To make everything better, Michael also whipped out a bottle of red wine and poured Patricia a glass. If there’s one lesson to take away from this scene, it’s that just because McDonald’s is cheap, that doesn’t mean you have to act like it.
Don’t Sleep With Your Baby Daddy’s Friends
If you’ve been watching the most recent season of Southern Charm, then you would know that Kathryn slept with Whitney over the summer. While there is nothing wrong with this in the slightest (they’re both single, after all), Whitney refuses to admit their dirty deed. Regardless of this instance, however, after Kathryn had her first baby with Thomas, she proceeded to sleep with her friend Shep.
Understandably so, when it became known that Kathryn was pregnant again, her on-again/off-again boyfriend Thomas wanted to know if the baby was his or Shep’s… A paternity test was never taken, but I think it’s smart to keep friends and acquaintances of your baby daddy’s out of the picture.
Never Pretend You Took The Bar Exam
Oh, Craig. Sweet, sweet Craig. He’s so delusional yet so adorable. A big part of his storyline was how he fought his way through law school, only to never take the Bar Exam — meaning he wasn’t a “real” lawyer until he passed the exam.
The problem is, no one knew he didn’t take the Bar… He proceeded to tell everyone he was a lawyer when in reality he wasn’t. Now, if you wanna lie to someone to make them believe you are who you say you are, then you might wanna lie to people who aren’t your BFFs. That’s the lesson we take away from this.
Never Get Into Politics If You Have A Closet Of Dirty Secrets
Thomas Ravenel has a long, outstanding history in South Carolina politics. Following in his family name’s footsteps, Thomas also got into politics. The problem is, after launching a campaign in 2014 against South Carolina’s senator, his dirty laundry with Kathryn, former drug charges, and bad behavior came about, causing him to lose the race. Not to mention he was forced to resign as State Treasurer in 2007 after being busted for drug charges.
Note to self: if you want to get into politics, be sure not to be involved in defaming scandals.
When In Doubt, Hire A Butler
We learn a lot from Patricia. Not only is she a real firecracker but she’s as classy as they come. She reminded us that when you have a lot of money, you have the ability to hire a butler. And as we’ve seen from her butler Michael, he makes her food, pours her martinis, and does just about anything she needs him to do.
What’s better is she treats him like an honest friend, which warms our hearts. Oh, Patricia, teach us your ways!
Don’t Call Women Hookers
At another exquisite Charleston event, the gang was all dressed up and ready to have a good time. But as per usual, Thomas brought Ashley. Out of nowhere, Naomi explains that she heard a rumor regarding Ashely being a high-end escort.
From there, the rumors kept on coming and all of a sudden, people are calling Ashely a hooker. Now, Ashely may be the spawn of Satan, but no person should be called a “hooker,” if they’re not… Lesson learned.
Not Interested? Leave The Conversation Like Patricia
It’s weird to think that Patricia—a 78-year-old woman—is as involved with her son’s friends’ lives as much as her son is. But there’s something about Patricia that makes you want to be on her good side. At another fabulous event at Patricia’s house, Naomie thought it was a good idea to tell her she was now friends with Kathryn Dennis. At the time, Patricia wanted nothing to do with Kathryn, so instead of wishing Namoi and her new friendship well or telling her she’s making a bad mistake, she said: “You know what, someone just came in, excuse me.”
The problem is, Patricia was facing the wall… she had no idea if someone just came in — she just didn’t want to be apart of that conversation at a nice event. That was handled much classier than anyone else would have handled.
Don’t Have A Threesome When You’re In A Relationship
Austen Kroll didn’t start off on season one, but he joined later on in the series as Shep’s buddy. At the time, the two were inseparable, going out to the bars all the time. Over time, Austen definitely became more of a relationship-man than Shep, but no one really stuck like Madison did. As we’ve seen in recent episodes, Madison and Austen are in love and are trying to make their relationship work, but they were off to a rocky start after Madison made some transgressions and he reciprocated by doing the exact same thing.
The only problem is, Madison—for whatever reason—filmed her busting him in the act and posted it online… So now everyone knows what a hurricane these two really are. The lesson we can learn from here is 1.) Don’t cheat on your girlfriend and 2.) Don’t have a threesome when you’re a reality TV star.
