The holidays may be over but there are some things (like families) that will haunt us forever. What has haunted the Star Wars fandom (and creator George Lucas most of all) for over forty years was the first sequel Star Wars film ever created. No, it’s not The Empire Strikes Back, it The Star Wars Holiday Special.
The special premiered on television in 1978, and Lucas has been trying to destroy copies of it ever since. With the introduction of YouTube his efforts were for not, but no one would recommend you invest any time in viewing the insanity that is the special. Here are just a few of the most absurd things that actually took place on screen.
Boba Fett is Introduced
Shockingly enough the galaxy’s most notorious bounty hunter did not first appear in the theatrical release of The Empire Strikes Back in 1980, rather he appeared as a cartoon character (that’s right, a cartoon character) in The Star Wars Holiday Special. Chewie’s son (yes, he has a son) watches a cartoon featuring the man in the Mandalorian armor, though no reason is ever provided to viewers.
One look at the cartoon and the hunter becomes much less menacing than he seems when he appears to take Han Solo from Cloud City. There are some things you just can’t make up.
It’s All in Shyriiwook
Don’t know what Shyriiwook is? You actually do, you just never put a name to it. Shyriiwook is the Wookie language. You know, Chewie’s growls and such. Chewie gets away with it because the movie scripts are genius in how they organize Han to always translate for Chewie whether directly or as a response.
That’s not the case in The Holiday Special. Most of the movie is Chewi’s family barking and growling at one another, and yes, there are subtitles you have to read. That’s not quite the enjoyable fast paces experience of the space opera fans are used to.
Life Day
Ever thought you’d want to see what Christmas looks like in a galaxy far far away? You don’t, you really don’t. “Christmas,” at least to Wookies, is a holiday called Life Day. It was celebrated once every three years on Chewie’s home planet of Kashyyk and was meant to honor the planet’s diverse life forms and remember families. It’s festivities included eating a particular root, trimming a tree (sound familiar), and general merriment. Oh, and the Wookies wore special red robes. If you ever thought Chewbacca needed more clothing, The Holiday Special proves you very wrong.
Musical Finale
Carrie Fisher could sing, as she’d been performing with mother Debbie Reynolds for most of her life, but that doesn’t mean we ever needed to see Princess Leia belt out a ballad for all to hear. The Holiday Special ends with just that. She sings “A Day to Celebrate” supposedly a traditional hymn for the Life Day holiday. It’s not really a tradition Star Wars fans want to continue. This is of course only the last song of the finale before Leia viewers get to listen to a large group of red-clad Wookies barking and growling to an ethereal song of their own.
Hologram Entertainment in the Brain
For entertainment, the whole galaxy should really stick to Sabacc and Dejarik (that fun monster chess game on the Millennium Falcon) because what we see on Kashyyk is honestly just disturbing. Forget cartoons for the young Wookies, you can plug hologram entertainment straight into your brain. That’s what viewers get to watch Chewie’s father do. His dad, Attichitcuk sits beneath what looks very much like an ancient hairdryer to plug entertainment right into his very furry head.
Diahann Carroll Hologram
Oh, but what does Attichitcuk actually end up watching in his hologram wired head? That would be famed American actress and Diahann Carroll in a glittery frog infested music video.
“I am in your mind as you create me,” she says. “I can feel my creation,” she giggles, interrupted by grunts from the Wookie within the hairdryer. “Oh we are excited, aren’t we?” she asks. It’s kind of uncomfortable to watch and listen to. This is all before she begins singing, “This Minute,” to the oddly entranced Attichitcuk.
Wookie Cooking Show
What could be even more interesting to watch than an uncomfortable musical hologram with Chewie’s dear old dad? Well, a cooking show with his wife as she prepares to celebrate Life Day. It’s not as uncomfortable as the Diahann Carroll show, but it’s not exactly enticing television, for Chewie’s wife or for her audience. Did it really need to be included? Does it add to our understanding of Wookie culture? Not so much, though it certainly doesn’t make anyone want to spend any extra time on Kashyyk. It’s no wonder Chewie agreed long ago to traipse across the galaxy with Han Solo and leave his family and home planet behind.
Drinking From the Brain
Harvey Korman was an American actor and comedian best known for his Emmy Winning performance on The Carol Burnett Show. He was one of quite a few celebrities to appear on the special, like the already mentioned Diahann Carroll. While Carroll’s performance was uncomfortable, Korman’s was just downright confusing. He appears as three different characters in three different “comedy” bits. What he is most remembered for is the fact that one of his characters accepts a drink and proceeds not so much to drink it, as to pour it into a hole in the top of his head. What was the point? No one has ever been able to find a good answer.
Bea Arthur Sings
Like Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur also made a celebrity appearance on The Star Wars Holiday Special. She appears as the bartender at a cantina. There’s nothing strange about that in the Star Wars universe, we meet Chewie and Han in a cantina after all. What is particularly weird is that this bartender feels the need to sing. That’s right, she appears in a “program” to educate Wookies about Tatooine and serves drinks until the Empire closes her down. What does she do about it? Offers everyone one last round, and sings to them all about it.
Music Video for The Empire
The Empire shows up at Chewie’s house to ransack it in search of him (he’s a wanted rebel sympathizer after all). What does the family do? They decide a really smart way to try and distract these Imperials is by turning on Malla’s (Chewie’s wife) “video box” and blaring a huge music video of real-life band Jefferson Starship. The weird music video doesn’t do anything but force everyone to pause awkwardly until it finishes, then the Imperials continue tossing the Chewie family home.
