Riding high (no pun intended) on the surprise success of their high school comedy Superbad, screenwriters Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg were quick to get their next movie, a stoner action comedy called Pineapple Express, into production. This time, Rogen wasn’t too old to play the lead, as he had been with the Jonah Hill role in Superbad, so he played Dale Denton, while his old Freaks and Geeks co-star James Franco was brought in to play the wacky dealer Saul Silver. The two quickly became a comedy pairing for the ages.
“Ah, well, sir, I feel like a, like a slice o’ butter…meltin’ on top of a big ol’ pile of flapjacks.”
Pineapple Express opens with a wonderfully crafted piece of stoner culture satire. The movie opens as a black-and-white government conspiracy thriller, with some Army guys and men in black driving out to a secret underground facility to watch a classified government experiment – and it’s just Bill Hader being examined as he’s the first guy to smoke marijuana. The testing administrators ask him how he feels and he says, “Ah, well, sir, I feel like a, like a slice o’ butter…meltin’ on top of a big ol’ pile of flapjacks.” He goes on to defy every tenet of Ayn Rand’s theory of objectivism, and they swiftly declare cannabis illegal.
“It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like killing a unicorn, with like, a bomb.”
When James Franco’s Saul is telling Seth Rogen’s Dale about the titular strain of weed after Dale tossed a roach containing it into the street outside the drug lord’s house, he uses this apt simile to describe how rare it is. He says that smoking the Pineapple Express weed is like killing a unicorn. Unicorns are so rare that we don’t believe they exist. So, if there was one, it would be a real shame to kill it. But then he adds that it would be like killing it with a bomb, because then, you wouldn’t have your bomb anymore either. That’s some rare weed.
“Yeah, maybe. Maybe he went to Heaven. He was a little f**ker, he could’ve gone to Hell.”
When Dale and Saul arrive at Red’s house, Red is making a cake and he tells them it’s because it’s his cat’s birthday. Dale says, “I don’t see a cat in here. I’m sorry. Did you let it out by accident?” Red bluntly replies, “No, because he died three months ago, okay? So, now who’s the funny guy?” He adds, “Today is his birthday, and it is a tradition that on his birthday, I get up extra early and make him his favorite kind of dessert.” Saul says, “Don’t worry, bro. Your cat’s going to Heaven.” Red says, “Yeah, maybe. Maybe he went to Heaven. He was a little f**ker, he could’ve gone to Hell.”
“The monkey’s out of the bottle, man. Pandora doesn’t go back in the box.”
We vaguely get what Saul is trying to say with these metaphors, but none of them are real idioms. As soon as Dale reveals his true feelings about Saul – that he doesn’t see him as a real friend and just hangs out with him because he likes the weed he sells – Saul starts guilt-tripping him about it.
Dale tries to apologize for how mean it came out when he articulated it, but Saul just says, “The monkey’s out of the bottle, man. Pandora doesn’t go back in the box.” The falling-out before the redemptive getting-back-together is a common theme in Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s movies. It happens in Superbad, This is the End, and The Interview. It’s a good story device.
“F**k Jeff Goldblum, man!”
When Dale is over at Saul’s place, buying some weed from him, he tells him that he went to visit his girlfriend in high school, just to make small-talk with him. He ends up opening up about the insecurity and jealousy he feels when he sees the young jocks she hangs around with at school. There was one guy, Clark, who was making her laugh with his impression of Jeff Goldblum. As a way of trying to make Dale feel better, Saul says, “F**k Jeff Goldblum, man!” He seems to have missed the point of what Dale was saying. There’s nothing wrong with Jeff Goldblum.
“You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherf**ker!”
Danny McBride’s dealer character Red is easily the funniest character in the whole of Pineapple Express, and that’s saying a lot, because it’s a movie full of hilarious characters. But the way that Red is written – how he comes back to life in every scene, no matter what’s happened to him – and the way McBride plays him – the way he has really shaky morals and changes sides at the drop of a hat – clinch it for him. His big action movie one-liner comes after running over a guy with his Daewoo Lanos and then telling him, “You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherf**ker!”
“This is, like, the apex of the vortex of joint engineering.”
As an aspiring civil engineer, Saul likes to bring mechanics and technology and engineering and innovation into every conversation – even when it’s about weed, which is what most of his conversations revolve around as a pot dealer. When he shows Dale the cross joint, he says, “This is the future. This is, like, the apex of the vortex of joint engineering. What you do is light all three ends at the same time and then the smoke converges, creating a trifecta of joint-smoking power. This is it, man. This is what your grandchildren are gonna be smoking. Future. The future…”
“Hey, look, it’s like my thumb is my c**k.”
What makes Pineapple Express so uniquely funny is how blasé Dale and Saul are about the high-stakes action movie crisis they’re in. Because they’re high all the time, they fail to grasp the gravity of the situation they’ve found themselves in and just play it cool.
While they’re stood at the side of the road, trying to get a ride to Saul’s dealer’s house to get an update on the drug lord who’s been mercilessly pursuing them, Saul sticks his thumb out of the front of his pants and tells Dale, “Hey, look, it’s like my thumb is my c**k.”
“So, this is the product of baby-f**king.”
This is how Dale describes the titular strain of weed after Saul explains it to him: “My friend, this is like if that Blue Oyster st met that Afghan Kush I had, and they had a baby…and then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Lights stuff I had and the Super Red Espresso Snowflake met and had a baby…and by some miracle, those two babies met and fked; this would be the st that they birthed.” After hearing that poetic explanation of what this strain smells and tastes like, Dale looks at it excitedly and says, “So, this is the product of baby-fking.”
“I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.”
Every action movie has the scene where the lead protagonist and the guy with a hidden stash of guns lock and load in preparation for taking down the bad guys. But Danny McBride’s Red makes it weird when he finds a tiny revolver and says, with a smile and an inflection that makes it seem like he’s looking back on fond memories, “I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.” In a flash, we see this hidden backstory where Red used to sell his body on the street and hide a tiny gun in his pants in case things went wrong. And then we ask ourselves what situations he could’ve been in as a prostitute where he’d need to use the gun. In one sentence, we see this whole untold story play out.
