In honor of HBO’s hit comedy series Curb Your Enthusiasm and its return to its new tenth season, we look at ten of the most outrageous, unfiltered, over-the-top one-liners dropped in this season’s premiere. Most of which are insults hurled at the man himself, Seinfeld creator Larry David, in his continued escapades in fighting for petty social justice in everyday life, and the enemies he makes along the way.
For those that have seen the episode already, get ready to laugh as we count down some of the most memorable quotes from the season premiere. Though for anyone that hasn’t seen it, be warned: there’s going to be spoilers. With that, let’s get started.
Walked In With A Horn On My Head
In the midst of the countless arguments Larry gets into throughout his daily routine, one line he says to his receptionist stands out in particular as he tries to understand her choice of tattoo. Since in the world of Larry David, no observation he makes is off-limits in conversation.
Even something as simple as someone having a tattoo with personal value to them and having to force everyone else to look at it is an unacceptable offense in Curb court. So much so that it seems to warrant a colorful metaphor Larry makes between having an indecipherable tattoo for all to see and refusing to explain it and if he happened to walk in with a horn on his head and reacted the same.
I’m Like A F***ing Yoo-Hoo
Anyone that’s watched this show long enough might be able to tell right off the bat who’s line this is without even watching the episode itself. It’s a perfectly weird one-liner that has Leon written all over it.
To give this line some much-needed context, it’s actually in the very first few minutes as we open the episode with Larry and Leon who is in the midst of a deep conversation regarding how to describe each others’ skin tone and Leon - in a kind of way that only J.B. Smoove knows how - caps it off with this one last zinger that’s sure not to be forgotten any time soon.
Know What I’m Gonna Call it? Latte Larry’s
This next line comes after a touching reunion between former rivals Larry and Mocha Joe, the latter of whom has his own coffee shop now. But water is never under a bridge for very long when Larry’s involved, as they quickly get back into the thick of it with each other over the matter of a cold cup of coffee and an offensively soft scone.
At the end of the episode, however, Larry comes back to Mocha Joe’s noticing a “For Lease” sign on the adjacent lot, and barges in regardless of his newly-appointed lifetime ban from the store. Larry announces his plans to buy out the lot and utters the above quote, leaving us waiting and wondering for the rest of the season to see how that plan turns out.
Get Out, You Old, Bald F*ck
This is a line that’s by no means new or original to Curb but is such a consistent running gag on the show that it would be criminal not to have it in here anyway. Though, interestingly enough, in the show’s original run, the line would almost always be a simple, “You bald fck!” It’s only been a trend in the show’s revival that “Old, bald fck!” has turned into the new go-to phrase.
In this case, it’s said by none other than Mocha Joe in the same confrontation as above. And, as much as it’s low-hanging fruit and cheap blow on someone like Larry David’s insecurities, it seems to always come well-deserved.
My Man Larry David Re-Tappin’ That Ass
Another timeless, classic line oft-repeated in earlier seasons of the show that’s almost as iconic to Leon Black as “I am the one who knocks” is to Walter White is given a fresh, new, Season 10 spin as Larry goes to Leon’s guest house for some talcum powder before he goes back upstairs to his bedroom where Cheryl’s waiting for him.
Why Larry figured this called for some talcum powder emergency, we don’t know. But just like many of the memorable quotes in this episode, this one sends off a scene with a bang, with just enough familiar about it to welcome returning Curb fans back into the swing of things with the show.
What Are You, My Jewish Puppet Master?
The great irony of this show is no matter how viciously Larry might get verbally assaulted by strangers and acquaintances, the only people to really be able to size him up and tear him to shreds are some of his closest, dearest friends. And in this case, it’s one of Larry’s closest and dearest, Richard Lewis.
In this scene, we experience one of the rare occasions Larry is in the right about something. A feat not easy to come by for someone like him, but when it does, it’s not often he’ll come out on top. As Larry confronts his friend Richard after seeing him sip a cup of coffee at Mocha Joe’s days after he promised to boycott the place, they go off on each other in a heated back and forth, resulting in this particularly memorable line.
This Will Be A Day At The Beach
Larry’s frequent encounter with Susie’s eight-month pregnant friend, Randi, is another one of the few times he’s right about something, as he frequently catches her in the midst of things like drinking coffee or exerting herself at the gym. All this comes to a head at the very end of the episode when Larry quite literally runs into her at the hospital, slamming her to the ground.
And, just like always, any righteousness Larry has is taken one step too far as in the end of the episode we see him scream out, “after what that fetus has been through, this will be a day at the beach!” as he runs away, instead of at the very least helping the poor woman up.
Premature Big Goodbye
Another common element in Curb and Seinfeld both is that there’s always a name for every unwritten social rule or faux pas we’ve all experienced at least once in person. Some examples of this from past seasons include classics such as the “Chat & Cut” or the “Sorry Window”, and in this season’s case we have what’s coined as the “Big Goodbye”.
Larry, as always the ambassador for social faux pas, develops a new strategy to make someone feel good about themselves by giving them an over-the-top, heartfelt goodbye as you leave, without actually ever talking to them beforehand. It’s genius, it’s manipulative, and it’s undoubtedly Larry David.
Leon’s Uncle Has A Wobbly Leg
One of the best parts of Leon’s inclusion in the series is his innate ability butt into other people’s conversations with short little anecdotes such as the one above that may or may not have much to do with the conversation at hand.
And in this case, it’s a conversation between Larry and Mocha Joe about a wobbly table in his cafe that Leon finds fit to mention his own uncle has a wobbly leg, and that he “can’t stand that motherfcker. Leaning on sht all the time.” It’s a bit of a stretch, but your uncle may not apply here, Leon. Apples and oranges.
No One Ever Wears Those Hats Backwards
In a rare case of genuine insight, Leon explains how most people seem to wear Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” hats, saying the above quote as it appears here, adding that they only wear it frontwards because if they’re “gonna receive an ass-kicking, they’ll wanna see it coming.”
In classic Curb fashion, we see Larry take this and manipulate it to his favor by wearing the infamous red hat in public whenever he wants people to avoid sitting next to him or forcing someone he reluctantly made plans with for lunch to run the other way.
