Ah, Christmas, beautiful, wonderful, glorious Christmas. It’s the most wonderful and happiest time of the year, and there are more than enough movies and specials to remind us. Yes, we’re all familiar with our favorite stop-motion specials from Rankin/Bass and the unholy legion of Hallmark’s insufferable holiday romcoms, but there are some films that feel a little less jolly.
Much to our surprise, there are plenty of flicks and specials that kick our Christmas right in the breadbasket. For every “happy holidays” there’s a “bah humbug” right after. Tired of the same old sugary-sweet-and-saccharine festive fluff? Have a look at these ten Christmas movies with a mean streak.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Some of you might be raising your eyebrows at this concept, but as much as we love our favorite Pumpkin King of Halloween, he did kidnap Santa and take over his holiday without permission. Plus, his idea of a Christmas is certainly more macabre than merry. Starting to get the picture?
Though Jack, Sally, and their friends have a wonderful time making Christmas in their own twisted way, this flick shows us Santa tied up and menaced by that no-account Oogie Boogie. Not exactly the best way to spend the holidays…
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Easily a comedy classic in our book, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is a Christmas tradition that definitely lacks a certain warm and loving glow of the holiday season, unless you count the blazing Christmas tree and Uncle Lewis’s cigar. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it.
Let’s be honest, Clark Griswold isn’t exactly the most wholesome family man, despite his intentions. He ogles a busty counter girl at the mall, has a full-on tirade against his boss, and goes completely nuts when his Christmas crashes in on him. The movie might not be the kindest and gentlest, but it’s definitely one of the funniest.
Blackadder’s Christmas Carol
One of the all-time greats in the black comedy genre has to be Rowan Atkinson’s Blackadder. For those unfamiliar with the title, the series focuses on the titular character Edmund Blackadder, who is absolutely the most detestable and manipulative, causing many schemes and conflicts over different eras in history. So how does he behave in his Christmas special?
Where Scrooge is visited by the Christmas spirits for being cruel, this uncharacteristic version of Blackadder is visited for being kind and generous, but after seeing how dastardly his ancestors behave, that concept goes out the window. You just have to watch this one to get the picture.
Scrooged
How many versions of Dickens’s classic novel have one of the ghosts straight-up sucker-punching Scrooge and cold-cocking him with a toaster! In this retelling of A Christmas Carol, TV Exec Frank Cross is the Scrooge in question, and he goes for a wild night in New York City on Christmas Eve.
This flick goes beyond scared-straight in its holiday hauntings, and mean-spirited doesn’t even scratch the surface of Frank’s nightly visitations. From a blast from the past with a creepy cab-driver to the horrifying elevator ride to the future with a TV-screened specter, it’s quite a scary Christmas.
A Merry Friggin Christmas
With a title like that, can you really expect this to be all candy canes and mistletoe? It’s not exactly the most pleasant of Christmas films, but it was one of the last films the legendary Robin Williams completed before his passing in 2014. That being said, this performance wasn’t exactly the most charming.
When Boyd Mitchler has to visit his dysfunctional screwball family one Christmas eve, he leaves his son’s presents back at his home in Chicago. So, he and his outrageous father, Mitch, have to take an impromptu road trip to Boyd’s house to save Christmas.
Santa’s Slay
Santa as a professional wrestler sounds like a good time, but a professional wrestler playing a demonic psycho St. Nick is just asking for trouble. The words Santa Claus and serial killer don’t really go together, but they do in this twisted Christmas slasher film. With WWE star Bill Goldberg in the title role, you know things are going to get rough.
We see Santa murder, maim, and mutilate over the course of this deranged film, and he is absolutely merciless. Though it is admittedly satisfying to see Goldberg pull some of his iconic stunts in the process.
Bad Santa
We go from one bad Santa to another with this profanity-packed picture. Bad Santa involves two professional thieves who yearly get gigs as Santa and his elf for a mall’s Christmas display. Willie T. Soke, the Santa in question, is lewd, crude, alcoholic who definitely shouldn’t be in the red suit.
Though the film is brought to us by the legendary Coen Brothers and stars Billy Bob Thorton, it’s not exactly what we’d call a delightful holiday romp. Willie is absolutely hedonistic and shows us several situations we don’t exactly want to see Santa in, including vomiting in a dirty alleyway. So much for being jolly.
Black Christmas
Before Michael Myers was the face of the horrifying holiday slasher flick, we had this yuletide nightmare from 1974. Released a full four years before we even stepped foot in Haddonfield, Black Christmas had us on the look for a maniac outside our window before Myers was even committed.
When a group of college gals in a sorority house decide to spend Christmas on campus, they’re paid a visit, not by jolly old Saint Nicholas, but a deranged home-intruder who finds many maniacal ways to murder his unsuspecting victims. Not exactly how we’d want to spend a happy holiday.
The Ref
Definitely our favorite flick on this list, The Ref is one of the most underrated and underappreciated Christmas movies period. When a thief breaks into a bickering rich couple’s home on Christmas eve, he has to play marriage counselor to keep the police off his tail.
This is one of those rare movies where the criminal is actually the most sympathetic character. The rest of the cast is made up of completely despicable people who give new meaning to the term dysfunctional family. This flick has some of the meanest, darkest, and most well-written humor we’ve ever heard. Definitely put this on your list.
Krampus
The only thing that could possibly beat out The Ref for our number one spot would have to be something that not only shows a dysfunctional side to the standard American family, but shines a not-so-glimmering light on the over-commercialized, and at times insane side of the holiday season. And the fact it has a giant monster also helps.
When a family loses the true spirit of Christmas, they get a visit from the holiday hellspawn, Krampus. This Christmas demon comes with an army of toy terrors to mangle the Engle family’s “happy” holiday. Pray you’re not on his naughty list.
