The Witcher doesn’t advertise itself as a comedic show — on the contrary, its trailers are dark and frightening, as is most of the show. But Geralt’s dry humor, his bard friend Jaskier, and the wit of the other characters all make for some pretty entertaining laugh-out-loud moments that audiences may not have expected when beginning to watch.
Between Geralt’s sharp responses and Jaskier’s adorable, endearing idiocy (sorry, Jaskier), we’ve compiled the funniest scenes from season one that’ll make you grin just thinking back on them.
“It’s Onion.”
Jaskier makes some comments about Geralt’s scent. Although he briefly jokes it’s like onion, he more seriously comments that Geralt smells like death and a whole host of other dark, gritty things. Makes sense, since he’s a witcher and his main job is to slaughter monsters, gaining him quite the reputation around town.
Ruining the poetry of Jaskier’s commentary however, Geralt dryly interjects through all of this and confirms, “it’s onion.” If Jaskier was building a song around these dark comments, it was sorely ruined.
“You Have The Most Incredible Neck.”
Jaskier seems to have an appetite for women, much like Geralt himself. He comes across two bodyguards that he takes a particular liking to and when trying to compliment them an inn, seems to lose his charm in the wake of their beauty. After trying to compliment the long neck that one of the women possesses, he adds, “It’s like a sexy goose… guzzling.”
This scene is made even funnier by the ‘WTF?’ side look that Geralt shoots him. Oh, Jaskier. You could have done this so much better.
Every Time Geralt Curses
The show makes a real thing out of Geralt dropping the ‘f’ bomb in moments where the gravity seemingly requires so much more, but it makes for some pretty hilarious moments. The worst possible outcome happens and all Geralt has to say is, “F***.”
These scenes became so iconic surrounding just that little word that people have made full on video compilations of every time Geralt says it, and they go up as far as four minutes long. Yes, he really drops the swear word that much.
“Ladies First.”
When faced with having to edge their way around a narrow cliff in strong winds, Jaskier turns to Yennefer and says, “ladies first!” since he’s clearly apprehensive about it. Yennefer, in true strong woman fashion, replies by simply giving him a disdainful look at him attempting to use his gender to hold back and gives him a clear shove towards the edge.
Although Yennefer is a dark and complex character, we love her moments of the dry humor that Geralt shows far more often.
“Eh… He’s Fine.”
We see Jaskier in an inn at some point, with a patron telling the tale of how Geralt died while fighting a monster. Although Jaskier hasn’t seen Geralt since, he has such confidence in his witcher friend that he interrupts the dramatic, tragic story to simply say, “eh… he’s fine.”
His casual attitude and confidence in Geralt are not shared by the patron telling the story, who insists he’s dead. Jaskier, however, is entirely unsurprised to see Geralt storm in seconds later covered in blood and guts, immediately rousing the whole inn into song about how awesome he is.
The Bath Scene
Jaskier, at one point, manages to get Geralt to accompany him to a ball which is… quite an achievement, considering balls don’t tend to be Geralt’s thing. It’s in Cintra, where Geralt comes across Queen Calanthe and sets a whole bunch of things in motion, but first he has to be clean and presentable which means he bathes in Jaskier’s presence. It makes for a pretty hilarious scene and when Geralt insists that they are still not friends, Jaskier asks if Geralt just lets anyone, “rub chamomile on his lovely bottom.”
Whether it was a joke or Jaskier did actually do this to Geralt is anyone’s guess, but Geralt didn’t seem as amused by this joke as the audience.
“Kicked… By An Ox As A Child.”
Don’t worry — Geralt got his own back at the party when he told one of the guests that Jaskier is a eunuch, kicked by an ox as a child and now left unable to perform because of it. Since Jaskier is a flirtatious being who seems to hold sex in high regard and was probably looking to get some at the ball, he’s pretty annoyed by this. It’s one of the few times we see Geralt genuinely amused.
“You Talk To Your Horse?”
Geralt has a habit of talking to Roach, holding full on conversations, and there’s a pretty funny moment when we’re made aware of the ridiculousness of it because he’s called out on it by Renfri. She stumbles across him in the forest and comments that it’s pretty sad, which Geralt brushes off, probably out of embarrassment.
“Money Opens All Doors.”
When Geralt is looking for a mage to help Jaskier, he’s not allowed into the house by a man who tells him, “money opens all doors” because he’s looking for a bribe. Geralt pulls out a bag of coins and hits him in the head, knocking him unconscious and dryly commenting, “So it does.” It’s a pretty hilarious moment as Geralt takes the meaning literally, getting him into the house just as effectively as if he’d gone for the bribe.
“Fine… I Call Upon The Law Of Surprise.”
When Geralt saves Duny, Duny demands Geralt to ask for something and says he doesn’t want to start a new life in the shadow of a debt. Geralt wants nothing but to save Duny’s pride, calls upon the law of surprise in some irony since that’s exactly what Duny did, expecting something to come of it. Immediately afterwards, Pavetta vomits and Calanthe looks at her fearfully and asks, “Are you…?”
Geralt curses in the background as they all look at him.
